Ms. _______

Florida Department of Health & Rehabilitative Services - Foster Care-Children

1636-38 S Fiske Blvd. - Village Green Shopping Center

Rockledge, FL.

Dear Ms. _______,

This letter serves the purpose of expressing my desire to discontinue voluntary foster care for my son, Matthew Justin Williams. In doing so, it is necessary for me to relate my experience as well.

I had suffered an undiagnosed debilitating illness for many years. The cause of this illness was discovered and was resolved with surgery. However, the time required to recover proved longer than expected for my family and I required more help for Matthew than was available.

Irresponsible and ignorant medical personnel urged my husband to abandon Matthew. An onslaught ensued of individuals coercing me to remove my son from my home and I suffered the greatest grieving I have ever felt in my life. Already at a disadvantage physically, I caved in to these individuals’ attitudes, believing my son would receive better care in a 24 hour care facility. No matter whom we contacted previously, especially Developmental Services, we were told there was no assistance for help with Matthew whatsoever and voluntary foster care was all we could find.

After diligent searching by _______ and me, Ms. _______ found a group home willing to care for Matthew called Special Needs. Although we both watched Matthew’s situation and were very much involved, we were unable to prevent the following:

• Matthew was not fed enough so that he could bear weight. He was constantly dehydrated and his urine ran brown. Matthew’s weight plummeted to 49 lbs.
• Matthew received NO medical care or dental care except that which I provided.
• Matthew was in the process of being potty trained upon placement and except at school no attempt was made to toilet him.
• Matthew was never in the care of trained personnel.
• No one was at the group home during the day and the children were sent to school sick.
• I spent The night there during the summer and it was so hot in the house I was nauseous and could not sleep.
• Matthew was constantly bruised. Some of these bruises were of an odd and uniform nature. He was not allowed movement in the group home and he is allowed great movement in my home. The chances of bruises appearing are greater in my home but he has none. In my gut I know that he was hit, especially about the legs. His school teacher had these concerns as well.
• Matthew has a severe problem with constipation and even when I brought suppositories of my own, he was never relieved. Sometimes I would make the 120 mile round trip simply to relieve his constipation. Once his teacher said he was in so much pain from constipation that her conscience forced her to break the rules and obtained suppositories and relieved him herself.
• Except at school, his teeth were not brushed.
• His school teacher constantly complained that he was dirty.
• No attempt was made to follow through on any language acquisition and his augmentative communication board was unused, except at school. Matthew was discouraged from communicating in any way. There was absolutely no regard for expression of his personal needs.
• Charges were made to the State and my insurance company that were unsubstantiated. Money obtained for Matthew’s care was not used for Matthew’s care.
• Matthew was heavily medicated for no reason. Many times I picked him up his pupils were so large you could not tell his eyes are blue. He appeared autistic and would engage in mindless activity.
• Matthew received NO therapies whatsoever. Oftentimes, when I picked him up, his toenails were black from lack of circulation in his legs.
• Matthew never went outside the home for any recreation or for any other reason except that which I provided.
• Matthew was acquiring handicaps as a result of his lack of care that were never a part of his disability. He was extremely withdrawn and appeared not to recognize me. He was losing the use of his legs.
• Another child, Brian, was allowed to punch and pinch Matthew, even in my presence. I had to stop him myself.
• Needless to say, Matthew was not held nor loved.
• When offering my assistance or inquiring of Matthew’s well-being I received the pat responses "He’s fine" and "I don’t know the children that well." ! My telephone bill to these people was always right at $50.00 a month. I visited Matthew constantly and my involvement made no difference in the level of Matthew’s care at the home whatsoever.
• Mrs. _______ monitored the situation well, and constant HRS supervision also did not induce these people to care better for these children. They even got to the point that they knew we were becoming aware of their great misdeeds and arrogantly continued not to care for these children as if they felt immune to any repercussions their behavior could bring.
• Ringworm was rampant in this house and untreated. One child had it for a year and half.
• Matthew’s schoolteacher, Kim Parmer, and her aide, Tonya Lawson, were responsible for most of the personal care that Matthew received. Their entire class was composed of these group home children and these negative conditions were seen across the board in all of them.

My husband and I both considered paying these people under the table for better care for Matthew, but you could not pay these people to care about these children. We felt that they would take the money and continue to mistreat Matthew.

Matthew’s school teacher reached a saturation point with Matthew and appealed to me to do something about it. I asked foster care what to do and was told that either the schoolteacher or I should file a complaint with the Abuse Registry which I did.

I left school with Matthew and he is still with me now. An investigation ensued and my complaints were substantiated by others.

I could extol my great talents and virtues, but anyone with a heart can do better than this. I feel great sorrow and guilt over what has happened to Matthew. The instigators and perpetuators in this scenario should live under the same conditions for the same period of time as Matthew was required. They are no less than criminals. My only condolence is that God saves a special place in His heart for people of this nature and especially those who undermine and disvalue the love of a mother for her child.

Along with Matthew’s schoolteacher and aide, I am greatly indebted to HRS Foster Care for their support and concern for my child. Instead of telling me my job as a parent was too hard to do, they in effect told me it was my job to do and I was the best one to do it. I believe that they also perceived the inherent joy and delight in this child that I feel and was being deprived of. My son’s very spirit was sucked right out of him and visiting him constantly did not help because I was visiting an empty shell.

I have been able to give him an infusion of life and his condition in my care has so greatly improved that one would not know it is the same child. This is not due to any superhuman behavior on my part, it is simply the result of humane and loving care-giving. Of course, my children get those particular Mommy perks which may not be duplicated anywhere else.

While in the group home, Society devalued my child and my concerns as a mother. Matthew was considered unwanted and unloved and treated thus. Treatment by others is much better and his social standing is so much higher living with me. In my care, my concerns for my son are taken more seriously.

I am attending UCF, pursuing study in Communicative Disorders and Legal Studies. My desire for my son coupled with the knowledge I am acquiring and the subsequent higher income potential in the future put me near the top of the list of those most capable for caring for Matthew.

My interest and involvement in Matthew’s care and related issues never waned while he was gone.

The main drawback I have is physical in nature, which brings us back to the beginning. I still cannot stay up 24 hours a day. Matthew is getting bigger and stronger and is approaching puberty. I am getting older. The fact that I will need help with Matthew periodically has not changed. However, after this experience, my family is much more willing to help realizing what the alternatives are and recognize that caring for him is a group effort.

I have found that what I do for Matthew often has a direct impact on similar children around him. It has also had an impact on other parents. If it were determined that for some reason Matthew should not be with me, it would not change anything I do or the importance of it.

One of the reasons I was able to do a good job in this scenario was the support and backing of HRS Foster Care. I believe that we formed a partnership that could be a paradigm for the care of these children.

One of the major problems for these children in group home foster care is that parental involvement is scarce. People were surprised by my involvement as being out of the norm, when in reality it was the most natural thing I could do. The concept of "letting go" of these children from a parental point of view is absurd and somewhat immoral. Yet those in the psychiatric and psychological realm condone and encourage it. It is not only detrimental to the children, but to parents as well. It also encourages disvalue of these children by Society.

I am so grateful and so happy that HRS did not take this view of my son and they have given me the confidence and the courage to attack this problem with a higher level of competence than I could ever imagined. Hopefully, through my journey, if Matthew ever needs to be placed outside the family, appropriate groundwork will already have been laid.

I will continue to be relentless as far as my abilities will allow me in the advocacy of my child, of myself, and subsequently these children and their families.

Sometimes I feel like Scarlett O’Hara; "As God is my witness, Matthew will never go hungry again."